Taping the Children
Perhaps the worst thing about a divorce is having to go through a custody battle for the children. If you can avoid fighting over custody do so. No good, no matter what happens, comes from such a fight. You’ll spend money on your attorney, the attorney for the children and perhaps on a forensic evaluation. The stress on your children can very well be something that will linger with them—no matter how it works out—for the rest of their lives.
Sometimes, in an effort to “win” parents will act in a manner which they would normally not act. They will bad mouth their spouse to the children. They will, in response to hearing that their soon to be ex-spouse was bad mouthing them, try to get proof to bring to the court. This too is a bad idea. First, when you are with your children, your focus should not be getting evidence for trial. It should be helping your children through a difficult time in their childhood. Second, it will back fire on you in court. If you are forced to go to trial, tell the judge what the children said to you. Your lawyer will explain how to get through the hearsay objections. If you enter in a tape of our children the focus will move away from what they said and fall squarely onto why are you taping your children. There is no good answer to that. Keep in mind, you may have this tape for months or literally years before the trial commences. You will be placed in the position of having to explain why you made this tape and kept it for trial. Finally, remember the judge will be asking questions directly to your children in chambers. If your spouse is bad mouthing you, the judge will find out about it. If you have concerns, tell the AFC about it. Ultimately, there is simply no reason to tape your children.
If you are forced to fight over custody keep your children’s best interests at the forefront of your mind. They are going through a hard time. Taking care of their emotional needs during this time is paramount. You may not be able to control what your spouse does and/or says, but you can absolutely control what you do. Focus on your outcome, stay strong and keep taking ground.