Considering Divorce | Family Law Attorney Long Island

If you are considering a divorce, realize even the most amicable of divorces can be a marathon.  The first step to successful divorce is to know what your end goals are and explain that to your lawyer.  Here are things that you can do to help control the process.

 

  1.  Get a support system in place.  Friends and family will be important.  You will need to be able to vent and share what you are going through.  That being said, do not listen to old war stories.  Every divorce is different.   What that person obtained in their divorce may or may not be appropriate in your case.
  2. Get all your financial documents in order: Tax returns for the last three years; bank statements; copy of our rental agreement/ mortgage; lease for your cars; anything and everything which will help provide a clear financial picture of your life.
  3. Joint bank accounts:  Remember that you and your spouse have equal access to your joint accounts.  How will your spouse react when they are served with your summons and complaint?  Will they in a panic drain the account?  If you’re on the receiving end of the summons and complaint, has your spouse already taken money?  Prepare yourself and act in your best interests.  Along with cash, take an inventory of all your credit cards.
  4. Personal affects.  If there are items in the home that you absolutely cannot live without safeguard them.  However, if you start removing things from the house, remember that your spouse may start doing the same thing and a war of attrition may begin.  If possible, inventory everything in the house with either video or pictures.
  5. Social media.  Get off Facebook pending your divorce.  Fight the urge to post on twitter.  Things you post can and will be used against you, especially if there is a custody issue.  Change all your passwords to everything especially your email accounts.  Assume anything you say or do at home is being recorded.  Change your cell phone password and clear your phone log.
  6. Keep a log.  Write everything down including date, time and witnesses.  Remember this is a marathon.  Your memory will fade over time.  You may need a record of what transpires during the divorce.
  7. Be civil and stay as objective as possible.  First and foremost, know in advance the desired outcome, i.e. do you want to keep the house, do you want custody or do you want liberal parenting time.  Know in advance what you’re willing to give up and what is an absolute must have.   Nothing drags on a divorce more than you not knowing what you want.  If you keep changing the goal post, then you will never get there.
  8. Tell your lawyer everything.  Nothing will derail your case faster than your lawyer being surprised at a four way conference or worse, in court.  No detail is irrelevant and no detail should be overlooked.  Let us decide what we need and what we don’t need.
  9. Keep your children out of your divorce.  First and foremost, this is a difficult time for them, do not make it harder by putting them in the middle.  Do not talk about your spouse, do not make under your breath comments and do not talk about the pending litigation, even if the day’s events did not go your way.  In addition to doing harm to your children, if you are fighting for custody, nothing will slant a judge against you as a finding that you are intentionally harming your children’s opinion of your spouse.  As you have before the divorce, keep your children’s best interests your foremost priority.
  10. Finally, realize that you are getting divorced.  You are no longer making decisions as a unit.  You must start making decisions which are solely in your (and maybe your child’s) best interests.

 

We will help you through this process, and it is a process.  Once we know what you want, we will keep you focused on your objectives and protect your interests.  This is an emotional time for you, rely on us to fight for that is in your best interests.